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Season 2013: Week 12

Happy anniversary SPCC. Now that the celebration is over, maybe we can get back to some regular curling. Everything is up in the air this week because of the inconsistent practice we’ve all had, but I’ll do my best to get these picks right.

  • Sonnabend – McLaughlin: The old Sonnabend rust bucket returns to the ice this week to take on a persistent McLaughlin. Keep your lint roller handy because sheet one has been dirtier than Hennepin Ave lately which can really do a number on things. I expect Sonnabend to win, but McLaughlin will surprise everyone by keeping it close.
  • Lichty – Anderson: Ever since Anderson slew the mighty McGovern the whispers of a perfect season have turned into a constant din. Lichty has a chance to silence them this week but that is asking a lot from a 0.500 rink. I think it’s time to go the Tonya Harding route and be done with it. If it happens, however, I don’t know anything about it and totally pick Anderson to win.
  • Long – Dubois: I’m rooting for you Long so I’ll give you a little tip. They key to beating Dubois is to get more rocks closer to the button than them. Now get out there and win.
  • Lawrence – Crotty: Two radically different styles clash on sheet 4 so pay attention, this could be an interesting one to watch. The caveat of course is that Lawrence actually shows up, I wouldn’t be surprised if they even remember that they have a match. Crotty would be wise to take note though, underneath all that joking around, Lawrence isn’t joking around. In the end I think this will be Crotty’s breakthrough match.
  • McGovern Olmanson – Rohde: Things will get weird on center ice because rumor has it that the McGovern skip is honeymooning in Afghanistan (his wife wanted to go to Bora Bora but Casey had a little mix up with the travel agent), nonetheless, the show will go on with a mystery sub guest star that will make any M. Night Shyamalan movie ending look like the final episode of M*A*S*H. But I’m giving away too much already. Rohde plays to win and will look to capitalize on this seeming opportunity, but it will play into a well orchestrated trap which will result in an Olmanson win.
  • McLellan – Moll: Moll is sticking to their guns while McLellan continues to have more fun than almost anyone in the league. Get out there and play.
  • Jansen – Dveris: I continue to be unable to pick Jansen properly. I really wish those guys would read and then follow my recommendations. So despite Dveris pulling together and really making it tough, Jansen will prevail. Now that I’ve said that, enjoy the win Dveris.
  • Lockwood – Gabrio: Lockwood needs to be on guard this week because the hazards of sheet 8 are many and no team should be underestimated. Gabrio is also subject to the same paranormal forces so I suggest a pregame meal heavy in garlic, holy water and silver bullets. The less superstitious Lockwood won’t heed my advice and will come uncomfortably close to defeat. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

See, I got it posted before lunch. Now back to work. See you at the club.