Season 2016: Week 18

Crap! Sorry, I didn’t post last week and now here I am again, derelict in my duties.

This week you are all winners.

Please enjoy this curling song by my favorite Canadian band that isn’t really about curling at all when you think about it.

I hope the S MPLS curling bus connects a phone through a tape adapter to listen to it over the bus speakers.

Nice work to everyone on the chili last week. Great offerings and the cleanup was grand. Let’s do it again next year.



Season 2016: Week 16

Chili night next week, see the posting above. We’re in the home stretch, final quarter of the season so it’s time to start planning your endgame.

  • Anderson – Lickteig: Meet Lickteig and friends at the Tastee Freez pregame for a milkshake and pep talk. Anderson will be across town at the Hardees getting juiced on a pile of mushroom and Swiss. The shrooms start to kick in around the 4th end and it’s all downhill from there.
  • Allendorph – Hammes: The mid game social is sponsored by Cabo Wabo Diablo and the poor decisions just keep flowing after that. Allendorph would be wise to develop an anti-hex routine if they want to hold on to this one.
  • Haga – Long: The large crowds have been fading for the once idolized Long rink. If they can get butts in the seats, they’ll have a chance this week. Haga needs to concentrate on blocking out the fans and throwing rocks like a Sasquatch.
  • Lawrence – Moll: This game will not be played. Too many gold club rewards points to burn up. You have to use them or lose them.
  • Lichty – McGovern: A battle for the ages. Blood is thicker than water and rock is harder than ice if you catch my drift. Lichty may have a chance since their shoe gloss reduction procedure, but it’s still a long shot.
  • Dveris – Dubois: The curling match gives way to a live production of Ernest Goes to Camp. You’re learning to curl the Stennis way.
  • McLellan – Boomer: I see a rare moment of clarity for Boomer this week. A new moon provides a promising sign for them while signaling darkness and fear for McLellan. Both teams can improve their odds by eating a handful of fortune cookies pregame.
  • Jansen – Rohde: If both teams can field their roster players and avoid subs this week it should be a great matchup. The environment on sheet 8 lends itself well to Jansen’s point-and-shoot-double-pull offense while Rohde knows how to use the edge of the ice to their advantage.

Again – chili.


Season 2016: Week 15

Chili night is official. Wednesday, February 17. Plan accordingly and read the other post about it.


  • Haga – Boomer: Expect a close match here with GPEs approaching 1.8 or above. We’d like to see both of these teams get a few more wins before the end of the season, but like Highlander, there can be only one.
  • McLellan – McLaughlin: Stop at McDonalds and have a McChicken and a McFlurry pregame then crack open a bottle of Jamison and throw away the cap, this will be a clan battle for the ages.
  • Dveris – Rohde: Dveris continues to search for the ever elusive victories this season while Rohde continues their search for league domination. All signs point to Rohde.
  • Dubois – McGovern: Kick back and pop on some yacht rock. This smooth match will hypnotize you with an ebb and flow like that of a summer’s eve on Catalina. When the merlot runs out it will be McGovern cleaning the deck and Dubois heading upstairs.
  • Lawrence – Lickteig: Make sure your Medicaid paperwork is in order before getting anywhere near sheet 5. Help yourself to some Doan’s back pills and update your life insurance policy while you’re at it, anything could happen out there. I’m picking age before beauty on this one.
  • Allendorph – Wainberg: Wainberg would be wise to see past the flashy brooms and matching jackets of Allendorph, inside they are just a curling team with a dream that could easily be smashed by some properly placed guards and well executed directional sweeping. Go get ‘em boys.
  • Jansen – Hammes: Look out for hard feelings and heavy grudges this week as the former learner attempts to show the former teacher that possible mastery has been achieved by the former learner. Will the former master take the bait?
  • Lichty – Anderson: Bright lights, cameras, drones, and paparazzi will be swarming sheet 8 like flies on a rib roast and it’s a good thing too, matches over there are historically difficult to watch from upstairs. The road has been bumpy for Anderson this year and Lichty has been curling with a perpetual tailwind.

Careful where you park this week. Those towing companies have no soul.