Season 2014: Week 13

The league is stratifying a bit but we still have some decent clusters. If anyone has anymore results from makeup games, please fill me in.

  • Anderson – Lickteig: My friends, it is with great sadness that I inform you that a fellow Metro League brother of ours has received a woeful diagnosis this week. I have been informed by his family (and asked to share with you) that Mike “Bomber” Spragg has entered the early stages of Pentagenarianism. There is no known cure and statistics show that no one has survived with the condition longer than 10 years after initial onset. Fortunately, he has a strong support network and those supervising his treatment have indicated that he should try to remain active for as long as possible. This includes lifting beer cans, walking out to get the mail, and with therapy – continuing to curl (poorly) for as long as he feels stable. Mike has remained strong through it all and insisting that no one make a fuss. Unbeknownst to most of us, Bomber isn’t the only one in our league facing this issue and while I don’t have permission to disclose the others, I would encourage them to come forward and offer him guidance.
    So please, Anderson, in light of this disclosure, take it easy on the Lickteig guys this week and offer them a win on Mike’s 50th birthday. Cheers buddy.
  • Jansen – Moll:  Call in the National Guard, I predict a riot on sheet 2. In an effort to undermine team solidarity, Jansen will replace Moll’s Hopslam with PBR using some sort of Trojan horse delivery method. Will it be enough to throw Moll off their game? It’s so crazy it just might work. Jansen sneaks to victory.
  • Boomer – Dubois: Never ones to shake early, Boomer will see this match through. If they keep their GPMs below four we might even see a close game. Dubois will try not to make it too much of a Tom and Jerry affair, but ultimately, they’ll take the win.
  • Lichty – McLellan: Is Cirque du Solei in town because the drama and pageantry spilling off of sheet four could cause one to falsely assume as much. When the fog clears witnesses will report a delirious Lichty cleaning up the ice but forever changed by their brush with whimsical McLellan.
  • Hammes – Long: Hammes has a shot here. Long has been moving up bit by bit, but I have a theory that Hammes is playing the long con. Your best bet against Long is to tell them there’s a falcon in the parking lot that just got hit by a wind turbine. If that doesn’t work offer them a sloe gin fiz. Hammes will employ these tactics and more, but Long will sweep through the tears for the win.
  • Dveris – Lawrence: Full of promise at mid-season, Lawrence has succumbed to the ravages of time. They’re cracking around the edges and Dveris would be wise to turn that to their advantage. It is easier said than done however and not without its risks. Dveris will make a valiant attempt but ultimately, miss the mark. Lawrence wins in a close one.
  • McGovern – Rohde: Word on the street is that McGovern needs a new pair of shoes, figuratively. If Rohde were to have a pair of figurative shoes, McGovern would be willing to put forth some amount of effort to acquire said shoes. Rohde does not part with shoes easily and so, with much exertion, McGovern will become the shoed.  Clear?
  • Crotty – McLaughlin: What can I say? A ten game win streak is quite impressive. Another win would make the streak impressive plus one. McLaughlin have had their share of victories but I don’t think they understand what it’s like to beat such a rink. The best bet is to find Crotty’s box of 8-tracks and replace them with some Simon and Garfunkel. Even then there are no guarantees. Crotty keeps the streak alive.


See you on the ice.