Season 2016: Week 3

Good things come in threes, and here in week three we can expect many good things. The Full House Netflix reboot is moving right along, high waisted jeans are making a comeback, and butter is healthy again. These are truly incredible times.

  • Hammes – Anderson: Follow the smell of 99 Bananas over to sheet 8 for an entertaining clinic on how not to curl.
  • Rohde – Lawrence: The pregame pleasantries will be tainted by the Lawrence rink’s sticky piña colada handshakes. This will lead to better sweeping for all, but botched rock releases. Since Rohde is less accustomed to that state of being, Lawrence will hula away with a win.
  • Boomer – Lichty: Special guest Andrew W. K. will be on hand to give positive party vibes to both rinks. Boomer will let their metaphorical nape follicles absorb the energy and capitalize early, but the business sensibilities of Lichty will overpower in the last few ends to bring it home.
  • Allendorph – McGovern: Last year Allendorph drew power from their anonymity in the league, most of which was tied to their clever use of a pseudonym. This year the jig is up. McGovern is onto them and victory awaits.
  • Dveris – Jansen: This is the wildcard coin flip of the night. Getting a Jansen pick right is still one of the hardest things in curling but they were looking good in week one so they’re due for a slump. Dveris will capitalize and grind one out.
  • Haga – Wainberg: This will be a great bout. Both teams are still in calibration mode so opportunity abounds for either one to capitalize on a misstep of the other. This website told me that Haga will win.
  • Long – Dubois: Long will get sneaky this week and put together a strong assault but Dubois is not easily bested. Look for the old bait-and-switch around halftime to mark the inflection point of the match.
  • McLaughlin – Lickteig: Beard power.

Please enjoy this photo of Michael Gross.

What would we do baby?