Week 20 Dun Dun Dunnnnn

It has come down to this. All your planning and practicing and obsessing has brought you here, to the end of the season. Did you win? Did you lose? Did you quit? Did you cry? Did you drive home with a headlight out and pass seven cops in three miles and only get pulled over once? Did you fall? Did you forget to take your gripper off? Did you get mad at your skip? Did you hug the bar maid? Did you call in sick for work? Did you have fun? I thought so.

On to the matches.

  • Jansen – Dubois: Where do I begin? The internal tension going on within the Jansen rink made everybody quite uncomfortable last week. I’m surprised these guys even talk to each other. Despite their faults, they can make any team sweat. Dubois, who should be the poster team for Arid Extra Dry will get up early and keep Jansen at arm’s length all evening.
  • Rohde – Arndt: I’m always looking for the revenge angle. Is Rohde looking for a rented mule? Possibly, but Arndt is nobody’s mule. They’ll provide resistance enough to go down with honor as Rohde sticks to the script.
  • Gabrio – Sonnabend: Upset of the year? It would be a great thing to watch. Sonnabend will have to do their own winning this week. All is not lost for Gabrio though, they should take notes on form, while giving their own dissertation on class. Both should learn a lot.
  • Beranek – Lockwood: Beranek has hung in there this year but Lockwood is no charity. Reports from the ice have indicated that they’ve turned sour from eating bad fish. My suggestion to Beranek is to play possum in hopes for a nice upset to end the season.
  • Dveris – McGovern: Dveris is aiming for a reprise of the season opener against McGovern but times have changed. McGovern got crushed Sunday morning in the Rugg, so there’s no room left for another blowout. Lessons learned on the weekend translate to unforgettable play in the league.
  • Lawrence – Lichty: Gather round kids, this one could turn into the curling version of Glee. Lots of flamboyant personalities and outrageous plot twists will have everyone watching. Who doesn’t love a train wreck? The future isn’t clear on this one, but I’m getting a sensation that the winning rink’s skip begins with the letter L.
  • McLaughlin – McLellan: Another close one. This Mcbattle will be closer than bangers and mash. If things don’t go well, look for an old timey boxing match to settle it. Winner starts with M.
  • Boomer – Stanek: Boomer, what happened this year? A win against Stanek would be a small morale booster, and the magic of sheet 8 could help you out. Remember, Stanek gets their powers from Fern’s which are inversely proportional to the square of the distance from. So rally one last time, would ya? (Proofs to be published pending review)

From Olmanson et. al. 2012, Empirical estimation of Stanek rink curling prowess, Journal of applied B.S. Vol 46, pp 382-569

Another great year, let’s do it again some time.

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  1. Love the Stanek graph.

    I think we learned a lot this weekend at the Rugg. Beating up on 12 year olds and then getting smoked by a bunch of drunks. I’m ready to rock!